IRELAND IN TIPS

IRELAND …. The only place where……..

If you die from alcohol poisoning, you’re considered a lightweight.
“Fuck off” means “Are you serious?”……
The person that you insult most is probably your best friend.
Saying “I will yeah” means that you definitely won’t.
“Fuck it, it’s grand” means that you couldn’t be bother finish it properly.
“He is fond of a drink” means he suffers from severe life-threatening alcoholism.
Saying you’re going for a drink means you might not be seen again for 3 days.
Crisps are called ‘Taytos’ and fizzy drinks are called ‘minerals’.
‘For the craic’ is the best reason for doing anything.
The best cure for a hangover is more drink.
Nobody can go a day without saying “Jaysus”.
‘Meeting’ has a double meaning.
Tea is the solution to every problem.
And water is the solution to every GAA injury.
“I got stuck behind a tractor” is a perfectly valid reason for being late.
We eat Tayto sambos for lunch, and ham sandwiches on the way to Croke Park.
You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. “I had a rake of drink last night” or “I’ll be out in a minute, I’m just shoveling down the dinner”.
GAA is considered religion.
It’s perfectly acceptable to call your mother ‘mammy’ even though you are a fully grown adult.
Saying “Now we’re sucking diesel” means that you are happy with the outcome of the situation.
You’re scared of the wooden spoon.
The word ‘like’ goes in every sentence,
You can say “Any craic” to a Policeman and you won’t get arrested.
‘The dogs’ bollocks’ means something brilliant!